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When Perfection is an Act: How to Avoid falling for a false sense of security

Have you been in a relationship and felt your partner was perfect for you only to find out a few months in that it was all an act?

We’ve all been there a few too many times.

When we meet a love interest, we meet the side of them they want us to see and not who they truly are.

We become so wrapped up in all the sweet words and kind gestures that we turn a blind eye to the things that is right in front of us, rather than vetting them to the best of our abilities.

Often by neglecting the vetting process we miss the things that will reveal their true nature directly.

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Pay Attention

However, if you pay attention to their actions and behaviors the person you’re dating will reveal things about them without having to directly tell you.

Reading between the lines for things they’re not saying and or doing rather than things they are, will help you uncover things that were there the entire time.

Look For Context Clues

Hence, you’re looking for context clues: essentially things that will tell you more about that person than their actions or words.

For instance, focusing more on things they are not saying/doing, their body language, and things that seem a little alarming to you.

Let’s dive in further.

Things They Are Not Saying or Doing

Let’s say you recently met a guy that you really like, and everything seem to be going great.

But when you two first met, he told you that he respects others time and is always arriving promptly to planned events.

However, that hasn’t been the case on several dates you guys have been on. He hasn’t been showing up on time and has had excuses for every time he arrived late.

Body Language

Also, when you are discussing your boundaries and things that are personal to you, his attention is elsewhere and when he does pay attention, he is fidgeting, or he is making a joke about it.

This could be a sign that he is not going to adhered to your boundaries and does not respect the things that matters to you.

Alarming Actions

Lastly, when you two are spending time together and you receive calls, he questions you about your relationship with that person and makes unnecessary remarks.

This is a sign that he will want to filter the people you communicate with to have more control over you and what you do.

Conclusion

Dating/ vetting in 2022 is challenging, however when you are observant and you pay attention to a  romantic interest behaviors and actions.

You save yourself the time and headache of that person revealing layers you never knew were there. Instead of finding out months into the relationship that those layers even existed.

The dating (getting to know) stage is to get to know a romantic interest and identify red flags that would prevent you from moving forward with them.

Looking for more help on dating and relationships? Read my other articles under Dating/Relationship, Making& Maintaining a Connection and Matchmaking.

If you would like to discover more to help you on your journey of finding love, I’ve created a FREE Success Guide to dating to help you. If you would like to learn more send me an email or schedule a call and I’ll be happy to help.