adminYou’ve most likely heard of people saying that they want a relationship but don’t know what they want in a partner. Or maybe it’s you that keeps saying how much you need one thing from a partner but keep holding on to them even when they don’t give it to you. Unfortunately, this isn’t as uncommon as you might think.
Most times, rather than taking fate into their hands and being deliberate about the people they want to be with, those searching for a partner choose to “go with the flow.” It’s important to think about how this might seriously affect your dating life.
You have to date with intention rather than being carefree about every decision you make. If you don’t plan your life as you want it, someone else will plan it for you. If you want to end up with someone that has qualities you desire, you should be willing to go back to the drawing board and work on your approach. Ensure you set up guidelines and follow them strictly. It’s the only way you will achieve success.
With that being said, here’s why you should adopt the vetting process during dating:
- You can date with intention
If you’re not intentional about all the choices you make while dating, you end up living on someone else’s terms and taking care of their interests. This will not only cost you emotionally, but will also affect you physically and financially. Ensure that you’ve got clear-cut dating goals and put your emotions on the back burner for a while. Be alert to your boundaries and standards, and whether your date is aligned to your goals. The early stage of dating is the time you lay out relationship dynamics. Don’t lose sight of the end goal at this time.
- You can test a potential partner
Here’s the thing- while dating, you don’t have to come up with artificial test to gauge a potential partner. All these tests will come up on their own so you should be patient to see how the person you’re interested in takes them in or reacts to them. It’s easy to feel like even if they fail, things might change in the future. Don’t give in to those emotions or get attached to a future you can only imagine.
- You’re able to weed out partner’s that don’t fit
It’s important to have honest and candid conversations with matches about the kind of relationship you envision for yourself. You can only do this if you take a step back, take a look at your goals, and match them against a potential partner during dating.
- You get rid of the distraction of attraction
Allowing your attraction of the other person to run free can potentially cause you harm in the future. You don’t want to overlook certain shortcomings because you think your attraction for this person will be enough. The truth is that the parts of you that are responsible for attraction and rational thought are very different, so it’s important to be on the lookout. I’m not saying it’s not ok to be attracted to that beautiful hourglass figure or the guy with a well-toned body. I’m just saying that this isn’t the right state of mind to be in to give deeper thought as to what being in a relationship with this person will mean.
